Why Gender Matters by Leonard Sax -- Age 21 + ;)

(This post was originally posted on one of my other blogs but I moved it over here and just kept the date the same.)

A few weeks ago I listened to "Your Friend, Your Kid" on the "Think with Krys Boyd" podcast. It was an interview with the family physician and Phd, Dr. Leonard Sax. I enjoyed it so much I asked Doug to get me the book they were discussing: "The Collapse of Parenting". Unfortunately, the library doesn't have it yet, so he brought home "Why Gender Matters".

As the mother of five boys, I found this book incredibly fascinating and have been discussing it with every person I've talked to all week.

Now, I already KNEW, that boys and girls were different. Here's how I knew: I have a bunch of boys, whereas I am a girl. Not only am I a girl, but I have sisters, a mother, lots of female friends, and lots of female friends with female daughters. And we hang out. A lot.  So I'm not clueless about girls just because I don't have female children, okay?!?! ;)

Watching boys and girls interact makes it obvious incredibly quickly that they are DIFFERENT and they do things DIFFERENTLY.  The question, for many years has been, are they different by nature or through nurture?

When Max (my oldest) was a baby, I read a book making the case that boys were aggressive and violent because their parents and society make them that way. If we want sensitive, empathetic boys, it said, and courageous assertive girls, we must raise our kids in an androgynous environment. I decided to follow the advice in the book. I determined that in MY home, we would NOT give our son weapons of any kind EVER! (You are laughing really hard right now if you've been in my house and have tripped over our arsenal of lightsabers, swords, nun-chucks, and Nerf guns.)  I also followed the instructions in the book to be sure to give my son sympathy when he got hurt (instead of expecting him to "buck up")

In other words, I followed the directions and waited for Maxwell to manifest himself as a gentleman and a scholar, strong and courageous, but also empathetic and sweet and nurturing. Imagine my surprise when my toddler son started sword fighting with the vacuum wand and making toy guns with Duplos. Imagine my dismay when the baby doll I gave him (in preparation for his baby brother to be born) was held around the ankles and smacked in to any hard, noisy surface Max could find. (Did I mention we didn't let him watch tv in our home until he was over 2.5 years? Did I mention the friends he played with were almost all girls?)

Eventually, I realized that it was not my fault he had no patience for art projects or crafts. Eventually I figured out that he was not going to act/play/or fight like his female friends. That he wanted to play with cars and trucks and swords and save the day and not color pretty pictures.

Luckily, I finally figured out that nature, and gender, matter.

In his book, Dr. Sax dispels myths about gender differences by citing study after study (after study) that confirm differences in female and male brains. He strongly emphasizes that--for example--while you can teach both genders complex math equations, a boy and a girl will learn better if taught using different approaches. Because they are different. And their brains are different.

Conclusion: I thought it was a great read, with some great food for thought and definitely recommend it. One caveat though; The chapter about sex has a very graphic example of teens engaging in o*** sex. I think he includes that particular story to shock parents into realizing teen sex habits are different than they believe. But if I had it to do over again, I would have skipped that part. ;)

P.S. I have since read "The Collapse of Parenting" and give it two thumbs up, five stars, and an unequivocal recommendation!!! No caveat necessary!! READ IT!!!

Montmorency by Eleanor Updale -- Age 12/13+

(Originally posted on my other blog and moved over here for convenience.)

Back in 2012, Max got a recommendation from our librarian to check out a book called "Montmorency" by Eleanor Updale.  It was the first in a series and he read it and loved it.  

Max loved it so much he convinced Doug to read it, Doug loved it and told me to read it.  
We were all hooked.  
We subsequently checked out the next three books in the series only to discover Book 4, "Montmorency's Revenge" ended in a major cliff-hanger, and (horror!) there was no fifth book.  In desperation, I wrote this e-mail:

Hello Ms. Updale!

My husband, 10-year-old son and I recently discovered and read your Montmorency series.  We're big fans and after the cliff-hanger at the end of book four, went straight to the Internet to find out when book 5 will be published.  Please tell me there will be a book 5?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  You can't leave Montmorency...(edited to prevent spoilers)!  How about a short story?  A novella?  A single chapter?  A blog post?  We'll take anything we can get!!!

Sincerely,

Emily Warner and Maxwell 

Amazingly, SHE WROTE BACK and let me know she was having problems with the publisher but was working on getting book five out!

A few weeks ago, we heard from her again--this time with exciting news!!

Well, at last it’s out.  The fifth Montmorency book, Montmorency Returns is now available to buy as an ebook or as a paperback, but only from Amazon.  The good news is that the paperback has better paper and better print than any of the previous editions, and all the previous books are available in a similar format, so it is possible to buy the whole series in a matching edition.

Thank you so much for your patience.  The delay in publication has been as annoying for me as it was for you, and I do hope that your love of Montmorency has not gone off the boil in the meantime.

You can buy the ebook here,

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Montmorency-Returns-Eleanor-Updale-ebook/dp/B00I3CT0QW

And the paperback here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Montmorency-Returns-5-Eleanor-Updale/dp/1494220873/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

I’d be really grateful if you could spread the word about the new book.  You can find out more about it on my website www.eleanorupdale.com

Very best wishes,

Eleanor Updale

I love that there are authors out there who take the time to connect with their fans! I went straight to Amazon and am now the proud owner of the complete series in a matching set. I love matching sets!  

If you're looking for a fun adventure set in England, this is the series for you.  Although Max read these when he was 10, I would probably recommend them for 12+.  But you can read them first and be the judge of whether you want your (younger) kids to read them.  I remember them being very clean, but it's been a few years.

I will confess that as the books went on, I was less and less enamored of them. And I really didn't love how Book 5 ended. But once you start, you want to know how the series ends!! If I were a better writer, I'd write a "fan fiction" version of book 5 and end it the way I wanted. But...that's not going to happen. Anyway, read them and let me know what you think!!

Here's a description from the author's website:

Montmorency is set between 1875 and 1880. This is the story of a small-time crook whose life is transformed after an accident that nearly kills him. An ambitious doctor (Robert Farcett) takes on the task of rebuilding his body, and shows him off at meetings of a scientific society. At those meetings, Montmorency learns about the new underground network of sewers under London. In prison, he plans a new life, stealing things all over London, and getting away through the smelly underground passageways. When he is released, he takes on two identities: Scarper in the Dark underground world, and Montmorency in high society. The book is all about his struggle to prevent each of his identities spoiling everything for the other.

HAPPY READING!!!

Book Review: A Few Classics -- Books for Parents

(This post was originally published at ActeGratuit.blogspot.com. I moved it over here for convenience but left the original date the same.)

My neighbor Lisa and I started a "Classics" Book Club.  (She wanted a book club, I wanted "classics" so as to avoid the typical trashy modern book club selections.  I could write a whole post about modern books I've hated and am still mad I read, but I'll spare you.)

Anyway, I want to list a few of the books we've read so far, plus a few I've read on my own.  Here goes:  (Book club ones get *)

"Bleak House" by Charles Dickens:  While still living in Japan, my sister J-Bird sent me The BBC mini-series version of "Bleak House" on DVD.  Doug and I both got really into it and it made me want to read the book.  Which I loved.  I was glad, however, that I watched the mini-series first because it made it much easier to keep track of all the characters.

"The Woman in White" by Wilkie Collins
I love mysteries, I love nineteenth century British literature.  Loved it. LOVED IT!!

*"East of Eden" by John Steinbeck
Steinbeck became one of my favorite authors in High School.  (Loved "Winter of Our Discontent".)  But I hadn't read anything of his for a long time.  Super glad Lisa picked "East of Eden".  I loved everything about it.  I don't know why, but Steinbeck is about the only author who can wax poetic and philosophical about landscapes and cityscapes and not bore me.  Although under critical observation the book isn't perfect, I still loved it!
(P.S.  I've never read "Grapes of Wrath" and I did NOT like "Of Mice and Men" Though I should give it another try as an adult.)

*"The Importance of Being Earnest" and "An Ideal Husband" by Oscar Wilde
These are both plays, both short, and both hilarious.  Plus they have great BBC movies to go with them.  Highly recommend.
(Read "The Picture of Dorian Gray" a few years back.  It's also pretty good if you're into exploring the moral implications of Hedonism. )

*"Les Miserables" by Victor Hugo
Here's the deal.  Doug and I saw the play years ago while still living in SLC and liked it.  When the movie came out, we saw it and loved it. After seeing the movie, I read the book and...mostly liked it.  But I didn't LOVE it!
Here's why:  Holy crap Hugo, can we just stick to the plot and forget the super-boring historical asides that go on for pages and pages and pages and don't advance the storyline at all?!?!?!?!?

Honestly, the details about the Paris sewer systems and how sewage should be pumped back into the city to fertilize the crops---were just way too much for me.  Same with the description of the Battle of Waterloo.  And many other long-winded descriptions of Parisian social ills.  TOO MUCH DIGRESSION!  (And coming from me, that's saying something.)

My un-researched theory is that the point of the book was to advance those theories and philosophies to the Parisians--with the story of Jean Valjean being secondary to make the boring stuff go down easier.  Any thoughts from those who've read it?  Am I way off?  Why else would he muck up a perfectly good story line with sewage details?!?

Here was my one other disappointment.  Marius has got to be the most lame, over-rated, self-indulgent wuss in the whole history of literature.  Seriously dude!  Get a job!  Grow up!  Talk to your Grandpa!  Sorry.  I know that's not a popular opinion, but he really bugged me.  If you've ever seen the movie, just stick with that version of him--he's a little more manly.  Oh, and if you haven't read the book and are planning to?  Find a good abridged version!!!

"Vanity Fair" by William Makepeace Thackeray.  I really liked this one.  It isn't the best book ever written but the plot definitely kept me turning pages and I read it pretty fast.  It had sort of an annoying character, but she (finally!) pulled it together in the end.   Looking forward to watching the mini-series.

"A Room with a View" by E.M. Forster.  I watched the 80's film version of this (with Helena Bonham Carter) in high school and loved it but just got around to reading the book.  Turns out, they're very similar.  The dialog in the movie is taken from the book almost word for word. (And it's a short book so they fit most of it in!)  So actually, reading the book didn't add too much like it usually does when you read the book second.
But I still really liked it and I just forced Doug to watch the movie with me so I could see it again.  He did NOT approve of the nudie skinny-dipping pond scene though I tried my hardest to make him see it in a humorous light.   He also thought the movie was very boring and started checking sport scores on the Internet about 20 minutes in.  I thought the movie did have some rather awkward 80's moments, but still feel it holds up for the most part after all these years.  (The movie is unrated so I can't be blamed for watching the (BRIEF) r-rated content.  Or at least, I couldn't be blamed the FIRST time I watched it.  Book is G-rated, btw.)

(P.S.  I read "A Passage to India" by Forster a few years ago and found it pretty darn boring.  Like Les Mis, I think it was meant to be a commentary on a current social problem.  In this case; Anglo-Indian relations.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but the story line just didn't do it for me.)

So, any thoughts for me?  Agree?  Disagree?  Have you read any classics lately that you highly recommend?!?

Author Intro: Brandon Sanderson

(This post was written and published on my other blog and copied and pasted here later.)
So the other night Doug arranged to take me on a surprise date. 
He got a babysitter and everything.

It was a Wednesday night.

I was sure he was taking me dancing or to a dance class.

I'd used various deductive reasoning techniques to come up with this theory and I was very sure of myself.

I told at least two people we were going dancing.

I put on a swingy dress and my new red heels.

I applied full make-up AND even a tiny bit of perfume.

We got in the car and Doug said, "We are NOT going dancing!"
I said "Yes we are!  ...Aren't we?"
No.  We weren't.

We went into San Diego to "The Mysterious Galaxy Bookstore" for a book signing by
Brandon Sanderson.

And it was AWE.SOME.

Even better than dancing!  The rest of this post will now be addressed to someone else:

Dear Brandon Sanderson,
First, I'd like to start by saying, I'm sorry we walked in to your reading late.  If I had known we were NOT going to a Swing dance class but instead going to hang out with a bunch of fantasy readers, I would have held off on the make-up and heels and we would have been on time.  My bad.  (But also Doug's bad for not telling me sooner.)

However, how AWESOME was it that there were two empty seats for us on the front row?  (Totally awesome.)  I could NOT believe my luck!  And hearing you read Legion was really cool.

Anyway, mostly just wanted to let you know it was a great night.  My husband and I are huge fans!  (And so are our boys because they've been listening to the Audible version of Alcatraz and the Evil Librarian.  So stinkin' funny!)
Also, I'd like to tell you a little about myself:  I am an avid reader.  I have been since first grade when I got hooked on Boxcar Children.  I'm pretty much always reading at least one novel.  At the moment, I'm reading three different books.  (One in the bathroom, one in the car, one by my bed...you get the idea.)  My point is, I read a lot.
And here's the thing:  I think you are HANDS DOWN one of the (if not THE) BEST AUTHOR(s) I've ever read.
Your intelligence is astounding.  Your imagination is awe-inspiring.  Your worlds are incredibly cohesive and believable and awesome and deeply-developed-without-being-overwhelming and awesome...

But of most importance to me, your books have something I learned about in college:  they have Artistic Unity.  In your words, (heard on a pod cast Doug found--if I'm remembering correctly...) "no unkept promises".  (or was it unanswered?)  Anyway...

Every tiny detail in your books is in your books for a reason.  When I finished the Mistborn series, I was sad that it was over, but HAPPY because you had answered all my questions and resolved every introduced issue.  What a freakin' awesome series!

{I'm SO glad you've chosen to continue it in a different time period.  I would be reading my signed copy of The Alloy of Law right now if it weren't for those other three books and the fact that Doug got to it first.}

(An aside:  Once I read "The Historian" and it sucked.  Not because it was about vampires.  Because it lacked cohesion and left MANY questions unanswered.  I'm still bitter I wasted so much time on that book! Just like stupid Lost!!!  I'm still mad at you and your lack of ARTISTIC UNITY Lost!)

Anyway again, just wanted to let you know I'm a big fan.

Come back to Mysterious Galaxy again soon!! We need a better picture!!

Sincerely,
Emily W.

P.S.  My baby's middle name is Brandon.  Not after you, but still...!

P.P.S.  This is my first fan letter.  Did I come on too strong?  Sound too stalker-like?  Sorry.  I swear I'm normal(ish).

POST EDIT:  My blog posts are automatically e-mailed to my mom so her comments come to my e-mail in-box.  This was her response to this post:

Dear Emily,  Great fan letter!  I'll have you know that I borrowed and read (my brother) Brandons  copies of Mistborn!  They were OK.  What shall I try next that's not so far out into ugly and violent cretins?  I didn't like all the good guys expiring.

(Not ALL the good guys expire...!!)

But I love you and Brandon, and I trust your judgement normally.

Love, Mom xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I had to laugh.  Clearly, Epic Fantasy is NOT for everyone!  :)  Always good to have differing opinions!  

(I told her to try Gail Tsukiyama--an author I read and liked in Japan.)

Hard Times and Holy Places by Kristen Belcher - Books for Parents

This post was originally published on one of my other blogs. I recently moved it over here where it belongs but kept the date the same.

"Trials and difficulties can, if we let them, become holy places — places where we can feel the power of the Atonement in our lives. Our struggles can be consecrated to our good and growth, and you and I can become more like Christ." — Kris Belcher

A few months ago, I received an autographed copy of "Hard Times and Holy Places" written by none other than Kristen Belcher.  MY sister-in-law. (Doug's older sister.) I was extremely excited to read it and devoured it in an afternoon.

My immediate next thought was "I need to do a blog review of this book!"  But then I thought "...but Doug hasn't read it yet.  I should let him read it first.  Cause I want to be able to talk to him about it n' stuff."  So I gave it to Doug and commanded him to read it.  And he did.  Over a period of about two months.   And again I thought "I need to do a review of this book."

This book...is incredible!!!  It is life changing and thought provoking and funny and spiritual.  I like it even though she left out the chapter all about me.  (I'm sure her editor made her leave it out.)

In case you think I'm biased because I'm related to Kris and I'm just hoping to get another free copy of her next book, here are a few unbiased reviews:

Fabulous Photographer Jen:  "i meant to tell u that i just read ur sis in laws book... kris belcher's hard times and holy places. i LOVED it. since my mom got diagnosed with ALS i have been reading a lot of church books and this was my favorite. i went and bought 2 more and gave one to my mom and one to my friend who just had to give her adopted baby back to total loser parents after having her for almost a year, and then her house burned down a couple weeks ago. she said the title even made her cry. ur sis in law is amazing and i would luv to meet her one day."

Sister Dahl:  "Kris's book was such an inspiration to me that I read it twice in one weekend!  And it really put into perspective the health issues I've been worrying about.  Kris is my hero!  She must be one of Heavenly Father's very elect to have weathered all her storms with such grace and dignity.  I highly recommend her wonderful book of faith and acceptance and love."

Kim:  (I found this one on the Deseret Book website.)  "This book was so amazing! It gave me the strength to look back at my life and find my own personal Holy places that I didn't realize existed. The author beautifully weaved adversity and testimony into an inspiring and entertaining book. She shows you the way to see your life for what it truly is. A difficult and trying test, yet a rewarding journey. I laughed, I cried and I will certainly read it again."

You may or may not know that Kris had cancer in her eyes at a child and lost her sight completely a number of years ago. This is a heart-rending and inspiring glimpse of her life story and you will NOT regret reading it!

Happy Reading--
Emily